To all the women…

On last Wednesday we celebrated International Women’s Day. I’m incredibly proud to be a woman, and even more so to have had the support and upbringing of such strong, influential women. A woman can be anything, and a man can be anything too. Let no one question your femininity or masculinity. You just be you, you just do you!

I want to share an incredible lesson I learned recently. The second lecture in the Leiden Leadership program was about “Does gender matter in leadership?” Before the first break, professor Sandra Groeneveld asked us, “Do you agree if there is a quota for leadership positions?” Well, what I personally believed was that if someone has the ability, willingness, and the right skill set, anyone deserves the position or opportunity regardless of gender, skin color, sexual orientation, nationality, or whatnot. She asked us to think about it during the break. I really didn’t see the necessity for an artificial placement. What she shared in the lecture after the break has moved me. What I believed could be worked out if we lived in a world where everything worked fairly. Unfortunately, the world is unfair, and we have to fight for what we deserve. When there are stereotypes, glass ceilings, and glass elevators, it’s really hard to prove what we are capable of. We will never get a chance to shatter the stereotypes, the ceiling, and the myths. Thus, the vulgarized beliefs will continue. If we make a proportion mandatory, the oppressed parties will have a chance to show what they can do. In the end, the quota won’t be needed because the representation will happen naturally, even without the systemic platitudes. That night, Professor Sandra moved my mind. I realize that if we want the change, we have to be the change. In fact, we are here today thanks to all the women who fought, stood up for themselves, and shattered ceilings before us.

Once, a man asked me, when I shared a story about a young woman entrepreneur, “Why do you admire specifically women who have done something differently?” “Is that because you share the same genitals?” On that day, I said, “Well, I would admire anyone who does incredible things regardless of gender,” but today I’d like to proudly admit that I’ll admire women more (yes, because we have the same reproductive organs) because I know it’s not easy for women to do unconventional things. We are not going through the same circumstances as men if we want to achieve something. So, I have enormous respect for all the women who do amazing things.

A few years back, I got rejected from a position in a student volunteer organization, and the feedback as to why I got rejected was: “Because we think you’re too feminine, sensitive, and not strong enough.” “Also, you like cute stuff, and you share posts on social media that make you seem so childish!” I don’t think I will forget this for the rest of my life. However, I proved to myself over the years that neither of those things defines me. In fact, I turned them into my strengths. Elanor Boekholt-O’Sullivan, the first woman in the Netherlands to get three stars as a general, came to talk to us as part of the Leadership Program. Her talk inspired me in a lot of ways. She shared what she has learned while trying to fit in: “You can only try to be you.” Every time you try to be someone else, it doesn’t work out. “I hope that all of you, whenever in life, figure out who you are in this social jungle you find yourselves in.” Earlier, she often felt that other leaders or male soldiers did not always take her seriously because she was a female leader. But she said, “I’ve become comfortable with that feeling!” I know that I just have to do my job, and within days, weeks, and sometimes months, they will see what I’m capable of. Then things will change.”

My wish for you on this years Women’s Day is that you may never be discriminated against for your femininity or masculinity along the way in your personal and professional lives.

Be Strong! Be Powerful! Be Resilient! More importantly, be happy and priorities yourself, work on yourself, and chase your dreams, be the change❤️

Cheers to all the women we were, women we are, and women we will be🥂