Before I show up for the world, I show up for myself

A Morning Ritual Eight Years in the Making

People sometimes ask me: “How do you keep your cool?”

For a long time, I didn’t really know how to answer. Because in my mind, I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, I just thought everyone was doing what I do. Turns out, that’s not the case. When I realised that, I knew I have to share it.

This is about my morning routine. More than that, it’s about something I truly believe: when you take care of yourself, you’re also taking care of the people around you. The peace you find in the quiet morning helps you handle your relationships, work, and tough conversations. It's not selfish to put yourself first; in fact, you have to be selfish to become selfless. You can't pour from an empty cup.

I wasn't this person always

I want to start here because I think it matters. During my teenage years and early twenties, I was really reactive and easily triggered. When something hurt or upset me, I didn’t know how to process those feelings, so I often cried. I wanted to be kind and keep it together, but I wasn't able to do so all the time. I would get really upset about things that, looking back, didn’t deserve that much of a reaction or my energy.

I’m not saying this with shame; it’s just how it was. The change from who I was then to who I am now is real. It didn’t happen overnight or with one big moment; it took time, day by day, choice by choice.

It starts the night before

A good morning doesn’t really start with the alarm; it begins the night before. Sometimes it even starts on Friday evening and carries through to Monday morning. I always aim for seven to eight hours each night. If I have to, I’ll settle for six, but I try not to go below that. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb after 7:30 PM and stay away from screens for at least an hour or so before bed. It doesn’t feel like a punishment to me; it’s just how I prepare for a peaceful sleep.

I need a slow morning. I can’t just jump out of bed, splash some water on my face, and rush out the door. That’s not how I do things anymore!

Forget the "5 AM Club"

I get that there are trends like the 4 AM club, the 5 AM club, and all that "rise and grind" stuff if that works for you, great! But I think focusing too much on what time you wake up misses the real point. What really matters is what you do with your time after you get up.

I set my alarm for 5 AM on weekdays and 6 AM on weekends, but I keep things flexible. If I go to bed late, I might wake up at seven or even nine. I can’t sleep past ten, but the important thing is that I listen to my body and go with my natural rhythm. Sometimes, I just turn off my alarm and wake up exactly about 7.5 hours later.

The first hour

When I wake up, I keep the lights dim. I find bright light too harsh, and it can trigger my migraines, so I just use a small night light if I need to see. The first thing I do every morning is drink 750 ml of water. I’ve been doing this since I was about twelve, and it’s a habit I won’t skip. After that, I open my curtains to let in some natural light. I don’t check my phone or any notifications yet; I like to tune out the outside noise for a bit. Then, I sit down to meditate.

Meditation

I meditate for about 15-20 minutes every day. If I’m short on time, I’ll do it for at least 5-10 minutes. It’s something I manage to stick to every single day, and since 2018, I’ve probably missed fewer than ten sessions in all these years.

For a long time, I used the Insight Timer app and followed guided sessions with different teachers. I focused mainly on morning affirmations and loving-kindness meditation (Maitrī Bhavana), which is an important part of Buddhist practice. Recently, I noticed I was more focused on the app’s streak counter than on my own mindfulness. That competitive "don’t break the chain" mindset started to bother me, so I decided to stop using it. Now, I just sit quietly with my breath and practice loving-kindness without the app, no streaks, and no outside pressure, just me taking time for myself.

This doesn't mean that I have full control of my mind. My mind is still a monkey mind. Some days I can't tame it. I still have tough days. Some days I feel moody, or things seem off, and life feels a bit chaotic. But meditation helps me find my anchor. It sets a positive tone for my day, and when life throws me a curveball (which it always does), that anchor brings me back to a calmer place. Instead of crying on the bathroom floor and staying there, I lift myself up, wipe my tears, and let myself feel it and then find my way back to a better headspace. That’s what this practice has done for me.

Prayer and gratitude

After I meditate, I like to pray. You can think of it as prayer, a gratitude practice, or just a conversation with the universe, whatever feels right for you. For me, it’s all those things. I take a moment to thank the gods, the universe, or whatever energy is out there for giving me another beautiful day. Then I say I’m grateful for the experiences I'm going to have today and the people I’ll meet. I appreciate the delicious food I’ll get to eat. I’m thankful to wake up healthy, and I pray for a healthy day ahead. I also hope for good weather, no natural causes that might throw me off course. I pray for my parents and siblings, wishing them a healthy and happy day. I pray that I could learn something new and get good advice from others. I pray for the wisdom to handle my wealth well, for the home I have, and for the job I do.

Then I say something that helps ground me, I remind myself that I don’t know when my life will end, so I want to live with good intentions (Sila), calmness in my mind (Samadhi), wisdom (Prajna), and mindfulness in every moment (Sati) today.

These aren’t just words to me, they represent how I want to be. They guide me as I try to be a better person each day. I also pray and offer gratitude to everyone I've met/meet/will meet: my parents, siblings, friends, relatives, teachers, colleagues, and everyone who has served me and wished me well. If they have good wishes and intentions in their hearts, I send some blessings their way, hoping their good wishes come true.

Affirmations

This might sound a bit cheesy to some, and that’s totally okay with me because it makes me feel good. I've been doing this for about 5 years now. After I pray, I say my affirmations out loud. Some people call it "Lucky Girl Syndrome," but I see it as a way to speak my blessings until it feels natural. I don’t want to sound superstitious, but when I look back, things tend to work out. Not always exactly how I want them, but usually in ways that benefit me. I can't say for sure that I got something because of my affirmations, but I do think they all help.

I believe the life you're living right now, the very moment you’re in, is the result of every choice, habit, and intention you’ve made up to this point. It's a different kind of accumulated wealth over time.

Movement

Depending on how much time I have, I like to do a quick stretch. This usually includes a few yoga poses: a gentle backbend, some forward folds, or one round of Surya Namaskar to loosen up my joints.

Lately, I’ve added Bhastrika Pranayama (or Bellows Breath) to my routine. I started doing it because I was dealing with nasal congestion that wasn’t related to a cold; my nose just felt stuffy. I also found out that stress and tension can build up in the neck and upper back while we sleep. So, I do 160 reps of this breathing exercise: I lift my hands up, forcefully exhale with sound, then bring my hands forward and repeat. The release feels amazing!

I’ve also noticed something interesting during meditation and breathwork: sometimes one nostril is more blocked than the other. In yogic and Ayurvedic traditions, that actually has meaning. The left nostril relates to your creative and intuitive side (right brain). In contrast, the right one connects to your logical and analytical side (Left brain). Whichever side is clearer can give you insight into your energy for the day. I think that’s pretty cool, your breath is telling you where your strengths are!

Coffee, silence, and slowness

I only have my coffee about 60 to 90 minutes after drinking water. By the time I have meditated, prayed, stretched, and breathed, that time has naturally passed. I drink decaf with milk. No caffeine, no sugar - especially not in the morning. And I like to have my coffee in peace. Sometimes with slow music or Buddhist chanting in the background. Sometimes in complete silence. If it is a weekend, or I have nowhere to be, this is when I might read or journal.

Skincare as self-respect

People who know me know that I love skincare. After my wash, I follow a simple skincare routine: cleansing, hydrating, a serum, moisturiser, sunscreen, lip balm, and body lotion. Non-negotiable, every day. I won’t dive into the details since I want to focus on the ritual itself. For me, skincare isn’t about looking good; it’s just a small way to take care of myself and my body.

The phone stays silent

I don’t look at my phone until I’m about to head out, so it stays off for two to three hours in do-not-disturb mode after I wake up. I don't read emails, Teams messages, and WhatsApp chats. If I really have to, I'll check messages on the tram to work. Plus, I’ve removed all social media apps from my phone.

I believe discipline is freedom

Some of you may think this is like you're following a timetable. You might ask, "Where's the spontaneity?"

But after eight years of doing this, I've realised that discipline isn’t the opposite of being flexible; it actually helps you be more flexible. When your morning is set up and runs on autopilot, you don’t have to think about what to do next because you’ve built that structure. This gives you a lot more mental and emotional space for unexpected things throughout the day, like creativity, being present, or whatever comes your way. I really don’t like rushed mornings. If you start your day feeling hurried, that vibe carries into everything else. But when you kick off your day with a little stillness, gratitude, and care, it helps you stay steady throughout the day.

Not overnight magic

I’m not claiming that you can completely change your life in just 30 days. Some parts of my routine go way back to my childhood, while I picked up other things along the way. I started meditating in 2018, started affirmations about five or six years ago, and I recently added breathing exercises. It’s been a slow build.

But this is what I noticed about habits. Bad ones can sneak up on you really fast. You don’t need 21 days to fall into a negative pattern; just one little slip can set you back. Happens to me all the time. But creating good habits takes time and patience. It means sticking with it on those days when you don’t feel like it and making choices that are good for you, even when no one is watching. Once you’ve done something enough times, it’s actually easier to keep going than to stop.

Privilege and practicality

Here's a disclaimer! I feel really lucky to have my mornings the way I do. I'm single, I set my own schedule, and I don’t have to worry about kids or anyone else needing me right after I wake up. If you’re a new parent barely getting any sleep, I’m not going to suggest you wake up at 5 AM to meditate; that's tone deaf. If you’re dealing with health issues or life just doesn’t allow for a peaceful morning, I totally get it. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation.

But I do believe that if you have the chance to start something, even a small change, you should go for it now. You don’t have to do everything all at once. It could be as simple as drinking a glass of water before checking your phone or taking a few minutes to just breathe before the day starts. That’s enough.

And if life gets in the way and you can’t keep up with your routine for a while, that’s okay too. The great thing about building a habit is that when you come back to it, it’s still there waiting for you. It won't disappear just because you took a break. What I want to encourage is to be mindful of the excuses we make when we actually have the time and space to try something new. Not every obstacle is real; some are just what we’re used to. You’re the only one who can tell the difference. This isn’t meant to be advice or a recommendation; it’s just what has worked for me.

Why I'm writing this

For a long time, I thought I was doing what everyone does. When people started asking me, "How do you stay so focused?" or "How do you deal with stress without any escapes?" I realised that what feels natural to me could actually help someone else. I'm not trying to be extraordinary or preach; the things I do make sense to me, and I've stuck with them because I genuinely feel good about them. They're not dramatic changes overnight, just small, steady shifts that add up over time. You only really notice them when you look back years later and see how much you've changed. And if something is not serving you, you can just drop it. I have done the same.

I still have days when I'm moody, irritated, and feel out of control. I still cry on bathroom floors or break out with tears when it's overwhelming. I'm human, and I own that fully. But I'm proud of how I deal with those moments now. I have the anchors that help me cope, not perfectly, but enough.

I believe the life you're living right now is shaped by everything you've done, chosen, and practised up to this point. Every little intention and choice matters. When you show up for yourself each morning, you're also showing up for the people you'll meet that day, the work you'll do, and the person you're still becoming. If more of us started our days with a little blessing, gratitude, and kindness, first toward ourselves, then toward others, I think the world could be a much better place.

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This is my morning ritual. It is simple, it is personal, and it is mine. If even one piece of it resonates with you, I hope you will try it. Not because I said so, but because you owe it to yourself to find out what your version of sacred mornings looks like.

While I may not be able to change the entire world, I believe in making a difference in my own small way.